Chap vs. the iPod

I occasionally add to the confusion in the world by reviewing products online under an assumed name, mostly for my own amusement and that of a few friends. And now YOU! Anyway, here’s the latest installment – Chap Gmunderson reviews the U2 iPod:

Apple iPod Video U2 Special Edition Black by Apple Computer

8 of 50 people found the following review helpful:

Best iPod with one problem, November 27, 2006

By Chap Gmunderson

I got this because love the color scheme of this iPod (Red and Black!) but I don’t really want the autograph signings of “U2″ on the back because then I feel like they’re judging my music or even are loaning me their iPod or something (I bought it) and my favorite music is not “U2″. I bought fine grade sandpaper (small grit) and gently worked their signatures off, which only took a few hours, and then after a few more hours of sanding with increasingly finer grades of sandpaper and ultra-fine steel wool and then buffing with cheesecloth for smoothing it all out, it looks almost like normal! Now I have the “bomb” looking iPod. I put one U2 song on it just for Karma, but I never listen to it. Get this now, and the sandpaper is available at Hardware stores (get the small grit kind).

Okay, Greg here now…this time I’m going to include some of the comments, because it never fails to surprise/amuse me that people take me so seriously! Anyway, a couple of comments, and my response to them:

Comment #1: “You sanded off the signatures because you’re afraid U2 is judging your music? Huh? Do they speak to you in your heard? Do you wear an aluminum foil helmet to keep them out? Seriously, strange review. You bought the iPod, you should have know it had the signatures (and if you didn’t you are quite naive) and your review should reflect the product as is. Strange, strange person.”

Comment #2: “You spent $200+ bucks to buy a special edition U2 iPod and you scratched off the band members’ etched autographs?? Why? What an absolute crazy thing to do! You permanently disfigured the iPod’s surface metal. Talk about nuts!!”

Comment #3: “Wow, dude. Thats insane. Can’t believe you’d buy something that expensive and then deface/destroy it partially. I think you better listen to that one song you put on there by U2…what was it anyway? I STILL HAVEN”T FOUND WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR fits rather well, I’d say.”

Chap Gmunderson says:
I am sorry if I confused anyone or they found my opinions unjust. I just try to be honest in my reviews and honestly I only wanted the color scheme and not people writing on my iPod. And speaking of schemes, I think U2 realizes that many people enjoy black and red together (look at the “White Stripes”!) and knew that this was a way to get an “inroad” to people through their portable music devices and make them think about U2. I found a way to have their cake and eat mine too by removing the signatures (and thereby their “ownership” of my musical choices, which are between me and the BMG music club, thank you) in as effective a way as possible while preserving the integrity of the iPod (incidentally, to that end, I found that a final buff with a cotton ball very lightly soaked in toenail polish remover is a good last step). And you are wrong about the song, it is “I Will Follow”, which I like because it reminds me of my youth as a “New Wave” fan and also running (“Run Away, Run Away”) which I also enjoy.