I occasionally add to the confusion in the world by reviewing products online under an assumed name, mostly for my own amusement and that of a few friends. And now YOU! Anyway, here’s the latest installment - Chap Gmunderson reviews the U2 iPod:

Apple iPod Video U2 Special Edition Black by Apple Computer

8 of 50 people found the following review helpful:

Best iPod with one problem, November 27, 2006

By Chap Gmunderson

I got this because love the color scheme of this iPod (Red and Black!) but I don’t really want the autograph signings of “U2″ on the back because then I feel like they’re judging my music or even are loaning me their iPod or something (I bought it) and my favorite music is not “U2″. I bought fine grade sandpaper (small grit) and gently worked their signatures off, which only took a few hours, and then after a few more hours of sanding with increasingly finer grades of sandpaper and ultra-fine steel wool and then buffing with cheesecloth for smoothing it all out, it looks almost like normal! Now I have the “bomb” looking iPod. I put one U2 song on it just for Karma, but I never listen to it. Get this now, and the sandpaper is available at Hardware stores (get the small grit kind).

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Okay, Greg here now…this time I’m going to include some of the comments, because it never fails to surprise/amuse me that people take me so seriously! Anyway, a couple of comments, and my response to them:

Comment #1: “You sanded off the signatures because you’re afraid U2 is judging your music? Huh? Do they speak to you in your heard? Do you wear an aluminum foil helmet to keep them out? Seriously, strange review. You bought the iPod, you should have know it had the signatures (and if you didn’t you are quite naive) and your review should reflect the product as is. Strange, strange person.”

Comment #2: “You spent $200+ bucks to buy a special edition U2 iPod and you scratched off the band members’ etched autographs?? Why? What an absolute crazy thing to do! You permanently disfigured the iPod’s surface metal. Talk about nuts!!”

Comment #3: “Wow, dude. Thats insane. Can’t believe you’d buy something that expensive and then deface/destroy it partially. I think you better listen to that one song you put on there by U2…what was it anyway? I STILL HAVEN”T FOUND WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR fits rather well, I’d say.”

Chap Gmunderson says:
I am sorry if I confused anyone or they found my opinions unjust. I just try to be honest in my reviews and honestly I only wanted the color scheme and not people writing on my iPod. And speaking of schemes, I think U2 realizes that many people enjoy black and red together (look at the “White Stripes”!) and knew that this was a way to get an “inroad” to people through their portable music devices and make them think about U2. I found a way to have their cake and eat mine too by removing the signatures (and thereby their “ownership” of my musical choices, which are between me and the BMG music club, thank you) in as effective a way as possible while preserving the integrity of the iPod (incidentally, to that end, I found that a final buff with a cotton ball very lightly soaked in toenail polish remover is a good last step). And you are wrong about the song, it is “I Will Follow”, which I like because it reminds me of my youth as a “New Wave” fan and also running (”Run Away, Run Away”) which I also enjoy.

Another of my reviews by “Chap Gmunderson”. Enjoy.

Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out by Phillip C. McGraw

11 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

Disappointed for the First Time by Dr. Phil, sad, January 27, 2005

By Chap Gmunderson

As a longtime Dr. Phil and Oprah fan, I got this book with the highest of expectancy. However, I find it to be full of advice which if followed, would not be as effective as that in his previous tomes. Obviously we create our lifes from the inside out. How else would this happen? Outside-in is just backwards and leaves a hollow person like one of those chocolate rabbits that aren’t as good as the solid ones and ruin Easter. This is the type of obvious logic which runs rampart in this book of Dr. Phil. The lack of input of Oprah is also sorely lacking, and may be the reason for my disappointment. Normally I find his “get real” Phil-osophy (get it?) to be a breath of fresh air, but here it is “over the edge” - when he cites an example of a man being unsure of how to paint his car and despondent over his losing of a job and his girlfriend turning out to be underage, Dr. Phil is uncharactericly harsh, and his advise consists of “get over it”. Get over it? Dr. Phil, I may be “over you”, which makes me sad because some of the best times of my life has been reading your advice, watching your shows, watching you on Oprah and the fireworks between you that are close to heaven’s ardor, reading your cookbooks, eating your snack bars, and watching you on other talk shows talking about how you look like Jeffrey “Hey Now!” Tambor and revealing your good humor about that embarassment, and how you even occasionally say “Hey Now!” to people to raise their spirits. These things I hold dear, and I hope in the future you stick to what you know best, good “get real” advice, and stay away from life-creating; that is God’s work, I hope you know.

For the past couple years I have occasionally written reviews under the name Chap Gmunderson, mainly to amuse myself. Mr. Gmunderson is a big fan of Dr. Phil and Oprah. I will occasionally post one here, hopefully for your amusement. Enjoy!

The Oprah and Dr. Phil Connection: Their Lives, Career, and Philosophies on Successful Living by Gary J. Fuller

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

Behind the Scenes of the best!, January 26, 2005

By Chap Gmunderson

I thought I knew most of the facts about Dr. Phil and Oprah, but I was wrong until I settled down in front of my space heater with this book, which details their connection all the way back to their first awkward encounters and subsequent fireworks (Dr. Phil and Oprah). In addition to pointing out that “Oprah” is “Harpo” spelled backwards (we learn that her parents were huge Marx Brothers fans, and that her little brother “Ohcuorg” felt the naming tradition was a stigmata), we learn about how their meeting took place at a Beef trial, and the rest is history, but is spelled out in the book in pleasurable detail and with aplomb. Although they have never been married, the rumor that Dr. Phil is actually Steadman is quickly “put to rest” by this book (and in addition, they both have mustaches but Dr. Phil’s predates Steadman’s by six years!). I really liked being taken behind the scenes and touring the backsides of these great storied individuals. Hurrah for this book! I heartily recommend it for your reading pleasures.